alone at home and maybe in a little hangover... days like these are always emotionally very stressing, you just think about your life all day and meditate on difficult matters.... it is hard but i feel like you have to go through this to grow and learn...... smoking ganja (which i havent done too much for a while) has become a little bit like that nowadays too, it doesnt necessarily make me feel happy and cloudy and forget about bad things but it's more a look into the deepest and darkest places of my mind... i might go for days just sitting home and meditating and thinking but i think in the end it makes me stronger... feels like a lot of people avoid this kind of self-examination and just brush the feelings and thoughts off and forget about them, but what you leave behing will come back to you... might be one of the reasons people are going mad and getting depressed.....
all this might just be a pile of crap and im not sure if i can express my thoughts 100% clear in english and if this makes any sense but whatever.........
btw
wikipedia is an endless source of food for thought, i have now read about hemingway,edison,ectopic pregnancy,bladesmithing,eye of providence(all seeing eye),mysticism,shamanism,finnish mythology and i probably wont stop for a while.......
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